


Hospital

by whiteherewhitenow (FYWC)



Category: The Maccabees
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-16
Updated: 2013-10-16
Packaged: 2018-01-06 03:46:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1102028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FYWC/pseuds/whiteherewhitenow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>”When you get out of the hospital, please let me back into your life!”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hospital

**Author's Note:**

> Songfic to 'Hospital' by The Modern Lovers, which The Maccabees have played in one of their XFM mixtapes.

Orlando jumps out of the lift and runs down the long sterile hallway as fast as he can. He doesn’t know where to go exactly so he asks the first nurse that comes his way.

“Excuse me, Miss, do you know where I can f-,” he asks breathlessly but gets interrupted by someone calling after him. He turns around to find his friend Hugo. Orlando apologises to the young lady and runs over to where Hugo and his family are sitting. He hugs the younger man tightly.

“Thank you for texting me!,” Orlando mumbles and Hugo shoots him a smile.

“Anytime, Lando.”

“How is he?,” he asks worriedly and looks around the other family members. They all look relieved so he can at least be sure that Felix is still alive.

“He’ll be fine. Don’t worry. He sprained his wrist and his chin hardly hit the steering wheel, that’s why they’re checking him on concussion. He has to stay over night, we’re just waiting to get in and finally see him,” Hugo tells him everything he knows and Orlando is really thankful.

“That’s great to hear. I shouldn’t wait with you guys then. I’ll just write him a quick note, and maybe you can give it to Fe?,” Orlando suggests and Hugo agrees on it. After all they both don’t know if Felix even wants to see the older guy.

_'When you get out of the hospital, please let me back into your life! I can't stand what you do. I'm in love with your eyes_ ,’ says the note. Orlando writes all his thoughts down and he thinks of a way to end it when the doctor finally comes out and lets the family get in.

Orlando freezes, he can see Felix through the crack of the door. He hears his voice, laughing and joking like he always does with his lips curled up into a beautiful smile. Orlando misses him and he is sure that Felix does miss him, too.

The last time he has seen the younger man was a week ago. Orlando was on his way home after a night out with some friends. Felix came out of a dating bar, looking rather unhappy and so Orlando – in his drunken state – told his ex boyfriend that he’ll be there to get back into his life. “I can’t stand what you do, Fe. You shouldn’t date other boys, man,” he slurred and threw himself into Felix’s arms. “Gosh, I’m in love with your eyes.” Felix simply left that night and Orlando felt even worse about their relationship than before.

Orlando doesn’t even realise how long he stands there and just stares at the glimpse he has of Felix. He looks down at his hand when Hugo comes out of the door. He notices that the piece of paper in his palm is crushed. He doesn’t remember doing it though.

“Do you want me to give him the note, or have you changed your mind about staying?,” Hugo asks the older man with a smile.

“I- I really don’t know. I sh-should just-t … go!?” Orlando says it more like a question than a statement.

“Look, we’re heading home anyway. I can ask Felix if he wants to see you!,” Hugo offers and Orlando just nods. He doesn’t even know why. He really wants to leave because he is sure that Felix will send him away and he could spare himself the rejection. However, he is still frozen to the ground with his eyes fixed on Felix in the hospital bed.

Felix finally notices Orlando standing in the hallway in front of his room. Orlando blushes and turns around. Felix is mad, he thinks and hates himself for even thinking about going in there. It’s his own fault that they’re not together anymore. And now he should just leave Felix, otherwise the younger one will never find someone else and live happily ever after. But who is he kidding. He loves Felix still and doesn’t want him to find a new man.

Oh, he can’t stand what Felix does in bars and clubs and sometimes he can’t stand Felix as well. But right now he looks so vulnerable, so lovable and so close again. He wants Felix back!

And luckily he calls Orlando’s name before the older man can change his mind again and leave the building.

“Please stay!”

And this makes Orlando think about himself and that he’s involved with Felix.

He turns around again, says good-bye to Hugo and Will and their father and enters the room, slowly closing the door behind him.

When he turns around to look at the other man, his gaze falls on Felix’s piercing blue eyes. He knows why he is in love with this power that shows through in his eyes.

“Hey,” Felix says with a smile and pats on the free space on the mattress next to him as an invitation for Orlando to sit down. He hesitates a few seconds, not sure if it is okay to sit this close to Felix but decides he should stop over-thinking everything and sits down on the bed.

“How are you?,” Orlando asks with a worried look.

“Oh, I’m fine, don’t worry. I’ll get home tomorrow morning. I only have to stay to make sure I really don’t have a concussion. They just like to watch these kind of things,” Felix tells and smiles again.

Orlando has missed this smile, he tries to remember the last time Felix has smiled at him like this. It must have been some months ago… Since Felix left him, Orlando has been going to bakeries all day long because there’s a lack of sweetness in his life. Sweetness like Felix smiling and laughing and babbling nonsense.

It feels painful now to see Felix so close but yet so far and not completely himself with the bandage around his wrist, the huge plaster on his chin and in this disgusting hospital gown…

There is pain inside Orlando and he is sure that Felix can see it in his eyes. Those brown puppy eyes that always look so sad.

It makes Orlando think about himself again, that he has lost his pride.

He has cheated on Felix and acted all superior about it before. But he regrets it so much now. He crawls back to Felix on all fours and he doesn’t even mind. Sometimes pride makes you do the wrong things.

And as he looks into Felix’s eyes again, he can see the power in them. Something Orlando will never be able to have. Felix is a strong man, he’s got hurt by his loved one and still lets him sit here with him in this vulnerable moment. And the happiness is still there in his eyes. And Orlando is in love with this power that resides in those eyes.

How could he ever have thought about another guy? What has been the point in cheating on Felix? Orlando doesn’t know really. He has never felt good about it, but he has done it and he can’t undo it now.

“Why are you here?,” Felix wants to know and the older one thinks about it.

He remembers the first time he has been at Felix’s place. He lives in a modern apartment, and Orlando even got scared once or twice. And he has asked himself the same question back then. It didn’t seem like it could work out between them because Felix has a different lifestyle, but somehow…

“The last time I walked down your street there were tears in my eyes,” Orlando says and doesn’t dare to look at Felix. Orlando is the weak one again but he doesn’t mind.

Since Felix doesn’t say a thing, Orlando just keeps on talking even though that is usually Felix’s part.

“Well, these streets, we all know, help us cry when we’re alone late at night. All these beautiful lamp posts outside and the blinking bar lights downstairs and the many people who seem so alive, more than I’ll ever be… Don’t you love them, too? Is that where you got your eyes?,” Orlando asks and finally looks up again and yes, he is sure that Felix’s eyes resemble these streets at night.

“Oh, I can’t stand what you do!,” Felix sighs and runs his good hand through his hair. “Sometimes I can’t stand you!,” he mumbles and turns his head to look out of the window. It’s raining outside and even the raindrops on the window enlightened by the car lights leaving and coming to the hospital remind Orlando of Felix’s eyes.

Orlando remembers the question Felix has asked him earlier and it makes him think about himself and how he’s involved with Felix. “I am here, because I am in love with the power that shines through in your eyes. I’m addicted to it. I need your eyes to look at me like I need air to fill me up from the inside. And you. I need you.”

Felix doesn’t answer and Orlando thinks about leaving again but he doesn’t want to be a coward. Not again. Not this time. “Now…,” he whispers but is not sure what he is trying to say. “Your world it is beautiful. I took the subway to your suburb sometime ago and I sought out the places that must have been magic to your little boy mind. Now as a little boy you must have been magic. I still get jealous of your old boyfriends in the suburbs sometimes.” Orlando looks back to Felix, whose gaze is still fixed on the window, but he can see a smile spreading out on his thin lips. It gives Orlando courage and so he keeps on talking.

“And when I will walk down your street tonight, there will probably be tears in my eyes. But that’ll be okay because I knew it would happen. Oh Fe, I really can’t stand what you do, sometimes I can’t even stand you not taking care of yourself properly… But in this moment in your street it’ll make me think about me that I’m involved with you but I’m in love with the power that shows through in your eyes. I’m sorry for everything I’ve done, Fe. I was such a fool,” Orlando finally admits and a single tear streams down his cheek even though he doesn’t want to cry right now.

Felix looks at him, at his dark brown eyes, that have looked even sadder from the day on Felix has left him.

“So…,” Orlando starts and hopes Felix will say something. However, the younger man doesn’t feel the need to talk and so Orlando keeps on after a deep breath. “When you get out of the hospital let me back into your life. I can’t stand what you do to me. I am in love with your eyes.”

It’s not a question, more a plea than anything else and Orlando doesn’t even want to think about what he’s supposed to do in case Felix says, No, he won’t let him back into his life.

They stay silent for what feels like an eternity before Felix finally nods and pulls Orlando closer to himself with his hand in the older man’s neck. It feels so good to be touched by him again, Orlando thinks before his lips finally meet Felix’s again.

“I love you, Fe,” he whispers as he lies next to Felix on the hospital bed not willing to ever leave him again.

“I love you, too, Land,” Felix answers and presses a kiss on his boyfriend’s hair. “But sometimes I really can’t stand you.”


End file.
